please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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