i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
