Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
