38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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