dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
