We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
