I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
