I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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