my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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