Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
