I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
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Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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