Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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