Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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