Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
