the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Randomize
