You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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