he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
