I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They took my balls.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
