He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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