I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
