I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
