I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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