i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
