One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
