I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize