i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
