it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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