oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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