He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Drake has all the answers
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
