I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
where am i from again
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?