so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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