dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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