but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We need to get me chipped asap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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