Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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