Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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