let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
