my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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