What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.