Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers

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(920): Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers http://tfl.nu/3qjt

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(817): View more from Texas

you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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(817): you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar. http://tfl.nu/9tne

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(518): View more from New York

just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her

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(518): just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her http://tfl.nu/hb22

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I sold my books for weed money!

(302): View more from Delaware

Finals don't start for a week...

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(732): I sold my books for weed money! (302): Finals don't start for a week... http://tfl.nu/onx1

Replies (19) Good night (4030) Bad night (2465)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

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(612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...

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(503): I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me... http://tfl.nu/6tu6

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(646): View more from New York

I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing

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(646): I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing http://tfl.nu/0l5a

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(559): View more from California

I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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(559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(617): I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition. http://tfl.nu/v2i1

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(706): View more from Georgia

Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

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(706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w

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(513): View more from Ohio

Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?

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(513): Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail? http://tfl.nu/pghy

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.

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(215): There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions. http://tfl.nu/xynj

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

(913): View more from Kansas

Is that weird?

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(508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc

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(614): View more from Ohio

We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.

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(614): We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened. http://tfl.nu/b5dx

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(434): View more from Virginia

I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time

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(434): I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time http://tfl.nu/ligv

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