Texts From Last Night

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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate

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  (418): I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate http://tfl.nu/4k8x
  Replies (5) Good night (1754) Bad night (729)
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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4459) Bad night (571)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just saw the nastiest chick.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Where?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

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  (603): I just saw the nastiest chick. (1-603): Where? (603): woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you http://tfl.nu/hbsk
  Replies (43) Good night (1455) Bad night (8438)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.

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  (252): this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats. http://tfl.nu/6vwk
  Replies (64) Good night (5378) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken

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  (561): how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken http://tfl.nu/p5ms
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.

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  (617): Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now. http://tfl.nu/a4db
  Replies (2) Good night (1684) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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  (708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z
  Replies (4) Good night (2665) Bad night (708)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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  (540): About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience. http://tfl.nu/yfor
  Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (1173)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.

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  (+64): The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me. http://tfl.nu/8v6d
  Replies (1) Good night (1933) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.

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  (850): Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer. http://tfl.nu/iky6
  Replies (23) Good night (2900) Bad night (869)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.

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  (717): I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/2l8e
  Replies (5) Good night (716) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1263) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Oh god...probably.

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  (309): Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping? (727): Oh god...probably. http://tfl.nu/m37j
  Replies (3) Good night (1229) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night

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  (847): I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/c36n
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?

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  (609): Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails. (1-609): you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you? http://tfl.nu/fkr4
  Replies (1) Good night (188) Bad night (398)

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