Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's

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  (989): Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's http://tfl.nu/0ar1
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (515)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Your tits are I can't wait for

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  (647): Your tits are I can't wait for http://tfl.nu/8px6
  Replies (6) Good night (1287) Bad night (437)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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  (847): I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever. http://tfl.nu/o6xg
  Replies (31) Good night (629) Bad night (5288)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

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  (215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy
  Replies (13) Good night (4065) Bad night (634)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike

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  (419): i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike http://tfl.nu/sgnh
  Replies (23) Good night (1172) Bad night (7399)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

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  (425): You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option. http://tfl.nu/ipw1
  Replies (34) Good night (10150) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (2918)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!

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  (251): Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again! http://tfl.nu/h5pv
  Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (704)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.

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  (971): There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is. http://tfl.nu/8jyt
  Replies (4) Good night (1671) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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  (646): In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night. http://tfl.nu/mfpz
  Replies (4) Good night (2500) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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  (310): What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business. http://tfl.nu/a4r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2199) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on

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  (919): I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on http://tfl.nu/gqy6
  Replies (3) Good night (339) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?

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  (513): I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night? http://tfl.nu/pm3j
  Replies (14) Good night (995) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (838) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years

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  (857): Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years http://tfl.nu/6jcz
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (338)

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