I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
