I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
