I think I am morally bankrupt
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
