i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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