I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
