Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You are the jesus of drinking
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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