I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
