i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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