Sponge bath it is.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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