I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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