Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
