I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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