elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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