If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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