dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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