wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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