No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
