Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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